Taking Back Hedy

I’m a very fortunate individual indeed to be blessed with such a loving mother as Hedy Vann. She, in my humble opinion defines what it means to be a mother.

As a small child, I began to develop a sense of what a special person she was but not just because she was my mother. It is because of who she is today and what she has endured to become that person. I have such deep respect for her. I’ve always been amazed at the energy she has as I can’t ever recall, and I stress the word ever, our home being messy anywhere, in any room, at any time. I would go to my friends’ homes and none of them could hold a candle to mine. Cleanliness and organization were never an issue. It’s just the way my mother kept things; always in order. I don’t know why but the way she packed my lunch for school always stands out in my mind. Not just for me, but also for my brother and sister as well. Day in and day out, she took care of our lunch needs with so much love. I was always given the choice to buy a hot lunch at the school cafeteria which I tried…but those lunches never came close to the ones my mother made for me.

When I was in high school, my friends always liked coming to my house. They didn’t come simply because I was there but because they loved talking with my mother. She always made them feel comfortable and showed a sincere interest in them. I’m sure for some of my buds, she gave them some of the love and attention that all kids need but so often never receive at home. She seemed to have that certain delicate ability to balance between being my parent and being my friend.

In the wild, there is nothing more fierce and dangerous than a mother protecting her offspring. My mother was no different…all redheaded five foot, two inches, and one hundred fifteen pounds of her. A prime example of this came one day as she drove to pick my brother up from school and upon her arrival found him surrounded by four of the neighborhood bullies. Now probably his mouth was most likely what put him in that situation but that didn’t stop my mom. All four boys were taller than her but that mattered not. When she was finished with them they had tears in their eyes and the fear of God in their gut. From that time on, they left my bother alone and probably found someone else to harass… When it came to those she loved, no one messed with my mother.

We, as children always have a different view of what is going on with our parents. I was never really aware of my mother’s unhappiness in her relationship with my father. She did a pretty good job of hiding it from us kids and kept the home peaceful. My father was in the Air Force until I was eight years old. I experienced his military sternness as part of my earliest memories, which would command my attention. I didn’t view him as mean but not exactly a warm person either. There was never any question of what he expected from me. This was something I grew to respect in life.

I have some good memories of my father. He always provided for his family no matter what it took him. However, I knew nothing of the dynamics of his controlling hold on the family finances that my mother struggled with for so many years. Though he wasn’t always the most affectionate father in the world, he did show his love as some men do, by helping me in ways such as assisting in the repair of my car. As his son, I never once doubted his absolute love for his family. His acts of kindness toward us children always pleased my mother for it was obvious to us that she adored us. But his acts were not always kind leaving her often perplexed as to how to deal with his behavior.

Knowing about the life my mother was dealt as a child leaves me in amazement as to how she has always been such a loving mother. My memories of her father are not good ones. I refuse to call him grandfather because his behavior never reflected any love or interest in me or her. The memories of his mean behavior and the way he treated us are not pleasant.

My parents who were married forty-six years clearly are not the same people they were when I was growing up. They married at ages nineteen and sixteen and through those years they have both grown in ways I could have never imagined… I mean really, my mother is now an author! And none of us knew she wanted to be a writer. I have certainly benefited from my parents in my own personal growth. Everyone’s life is full of twists and turns, some more than others. Although life may not be easy, it’s never too late to find fulfilling happiness. I am witness to that in my life.

I always thought I knew my mother well until I read Taking Back Hedy. I soon realized I really didn’t have a clue as to just how special she truly is! The things I’ve learned about her and from her writing have created a love and respect that I could never express in words. It was a total surprise when she informed me that I had a younger sister and that she was raised by an adoptive family. My immediate reaction was to embrace her and tell her I would like to meet my sister one day. I also told her that it changed nothing in my love for her. I’m so happy that I got to meet my little sister because as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized there is really nothing that matters more than family.

As well as a new sister, I also got to meet her father Bill Vann, whom I had met before but was too young to remember him. What a wonderful man he is! I didn’t know anyone could love my mother as much as I do… His love for my mother is quite obvious and has always given me comfort knowing she is getting the love she deserves!

When my mother first informed me she was writing a book about her life, I remember thinking, “What could she write about, that would be interesting enough for folks to want to read it?”  I realized that it wasn’t just her life that is so interesting, but the way she took her journey. She has opened her soul and shared so many things about her life that we can all benefit from… The fact is that I could hardly put her book down and this writer is my mother!

Taking Back Hedy is a written account that I have witnessed with my own eyes. These pages are filled with invaluable lessons that many will benefit from… But, I will leave it up to you, the reader to gain your own perspective. There is a wealth of education concerning love, courage and relationships here for everyone. I can assure you, reading this book will offer you lots of strength and inspiration to get through some of your darkest moments. You are going to love my mother’s story!

I Love you Mom,

Robert